He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
