Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
