My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
