ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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