Dual....:-)
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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