So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
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How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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