Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
