69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
