Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
