I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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