based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
