she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
