I only kidnapped one of them. chill
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
