My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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