I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
