In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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