u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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