There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
