I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
