he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
