Texts From Last Night

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  (515): View more from Iowa

  How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away

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  (515): How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away<? http://tfl.nu/gea4
  Replies (21) Good night (660) Bad night (2832)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?

  (815): View more from Illinois

  that's gum

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  (630): is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years? (815): that's gum http://tfl.nu/8le7
  Replies (42) Good night (2920) Bad night (2805)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again

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  (814): I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again http://tfl.nu/580i
  Replies (12) Good night (3076) Bad night (813)
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  (619): View more from California

  I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth

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  (619): I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth http://tfl.nu/3dui
  Replies (15) Good night (2772) Bad night (2322)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.

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  (772): Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix. http://tfl.nu/t7w8
  Replies (7) Good night (4433) Bad night (749)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.

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  (501): As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story. http://tfl.nu/lu21
  Replies (2) Good night (881) Bad night (2231)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.

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  (519): he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today. http://tfl.nu/4qok
  Replies (4) Good night (3225) Bad night (624)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace

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  (780): No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace http://tfl.nu/va4a
  Replies (8) Good night (1762) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.

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  (937): Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever. http://tfl.nu/8uev
  Replies (7) Good night (2765) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...

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  (508): You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes... http://tfl.nu/do6f
  Replies (1) Good night (723) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man

  (1-714): View more from California

  you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife

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  (714): wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man (1-714): you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife http://tfl.nu/week
  Replies (2) Good night (705) Bad night (183)
• Favorite

  (956): View more from Texas

  I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.

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  (956): I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated. http://tfl.nu/82qh
  Replies (0) Good night (206) Bad night (299)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.

  (469): View more from Texas

  I have the flu.

  (214): View more from Texas

  I don't give a shit

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  (214): I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now. (469): I have the flu. (214): I don't give a shit http://tfl.nu/yb1n
  Replies (12) Good night (1161) Bad night (267)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.

  (415): View more from California

  She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.

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  (415): So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers. (415): She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better. http://tfl.nu/azok
  Replies (2) Good night (550) Bad night (270)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  "I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"

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  (313): "I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead" http://tfl.nu/zzf1
  Replies (3) Good night (255) Bad night (503)

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