Wat do u mean how?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
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Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
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those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.