PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?