Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
