You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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