i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes