Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful

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  (949): I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful http://tfl.nu/bv6a
  Replies (22) Good night (3573) Bad night (988)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just spent $27 on things to pee on.

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  (484): I just spent $27 on things to pee on. http://tfl.nu/pmzm
  Replies (30) Good night (1878) Bad night (4177)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.

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  (908): my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue. http://tfl.nu/njsp
  Replies (20) Good night (4032) Bad night (817)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?

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  (503): They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that? http://tfl.nu/8vi3
  Replies (6) Good night (3010) Bad night (895)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.

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  (480): Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck. http://tfl.nu/qoqh
  Replies (41) Good night (1215) Bad night (5183)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor

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  (780): A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor http://tfl.nu/h37q
  Replies (14) Good night (2760) Bad night (1078)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.

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  (912): Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother. http://tfl.nu/sdoi
  Replies (14) Good night (981) Bad night (3383)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.

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  (574): First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated. http://tfl.nu/ljxt
  Replies (6) Good night (1773) Bad night (728)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  How was your weekend?

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.

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  (774): How was your weekend? (508): The sex was so good. It hurts to exist. http://tfl.nu/pe42
  Replies (4) Good night (3309) Bad night (822)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.

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  (905): you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed. http://tfl.nu/nsl5
  Replies (14) Good night (3911) Bad night (776)
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  (408): View more from California

  I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.

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  (408): I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate. http://tfl.nu/p4ru
  Replies (9) Good night (1174) Bad night (692)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.

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  (231): I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it. http://tfl.nu/oche
  Replies (8) Good night (1851) Bad night (944)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.

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  (613): You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse. http://tfl.nu/8ufz
  Replies (4) Good night (781) Bad night (368)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....

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  (505): I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from.... http://tfl.nu/owld
  Replies (2) Good night (788) Bad night (341)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?

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  (973): Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990? http://tfl.nu/ls6v
  Replies (1) Good night (380) Bad night (505)

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