so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink