I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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