Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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