Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
