dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
