i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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