I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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