Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
