Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
