then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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