nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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