If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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