Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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