Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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