Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
