Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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