Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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