Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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