Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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