Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
