We're facebook friends in real life
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
please don't ironically join a cult
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