you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
