don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
