You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
