I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
