I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
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