if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
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Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
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I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
