Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
