I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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