this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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