all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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