Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
As shirtless as possible
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
