Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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