Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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