they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
