Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
