I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
