wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
