all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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