Plan B is the new Plan A
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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