dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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