So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
