i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
