Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Welp...herpes.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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